Find the Lie

I keep trying to

Find the lie

In your eyes,

Looking for

Evidence that I'm

Not worth your time,

You're in every other

Thought of mine,

Am I there

For you?

Do you care?

And yet, all you do

Is LOVE…

It's in everything

You are and say,

You show

In so many ways

That you love me.

Maybe I want more

(When I've never had

So much before)

Am I being greedy?

Jealous?

Something in me

Wants to be

The only, but I know

Neither of us

Would be happy with that

In reality.

How many times

Have I learned?

When will it be

Enough?

And perhaps that's the crux…

I think I really haven't been

This important

To anyone–

Always been the useful, the used,

The taken-for-granted, abused,

I've been the fantasy

While the real me

Withered within,

And now that I've stepped out

Of the box they/I stuffed me in,

Realized the door

Didn't require a magical key

(It was always unlocked,

I was never free)

I won't go back.

I won't go back,

Now that I've thrived,

Could never survive

In that twisted sunflower pose.

And maybe it's scary

Out here, exposed

But I finally feel the light

And I'm learning

Who this is,

Creating what

I always needed me

To be.