finally.

If I stayed

I would’ve been

Letting myself get

Autopsied alive

❀

If I left I would’ve

Become a carcass

Rotting with guilt

And loneliness

❀

I couldn’t win

❀

You left.

Amputated me

Like a limb

Posted your happiness

On a billboard and

Everywhere I might see it

❀

I swallowed denial

Coughed up infectious realisations

And watched my entire life

Collapse around me

Questions falling like debris

❀

You won

❀

I buried myself

Under six feet of anger

Bargained with depression

And clawed at semblances of sanity

❀

I lost

❀

There I was

Searching for closure

Watching my ribcage decay

Writing my own eulogy

❀

You kept winning

❀

I tried and tried and tried

❀

But I kept losing

❀

Now I hold

Summits in my palms

And wear dreams

Like mascara

❀

I have exhaled

The need for your validation

And inhaled an alleviation

I paid for with twelve months of my life

❀

The words “I am happy”

Are precious and golden

And finally, finally true

❀

Who’s won now?