FEELING IN MY HEART…..

I’m trapped in my life, I’m not sure of myself making errors

anymore! It is quite confusing! I’m supposed to be lighted being the

child of God. I am sitting pondering of all that I have been through in

this world that seems to be unsatisfactory at times! Confusion is not of

my Father in Heaven, yet I am tried to the flesh that lies beneath my

skin. I am feeling quite unworthy, pathetic, sorry and less than. I know

that feeling this way is not ordinary at all so on the contrary I can’t help

but feel as if I am not getting things right! I am a child of God with

confidence, strong minded, yet have a loving spirit. I am compelled to

seek what is it that I am not grasping in the sense of love. Although, I

feel that I truly love when loving my life partner, apparently there is a

judgement to me of being some type of way!

I know who I am, I am not an individual who gets flattery over

anyone’s demise or their feelings. I am not one who enjoys anyone’s

pain or their sadness. I do not feel any animosity towards loving one

even when being treated with cruelty. I must grasp the concept of

feeling in general. I am at fault for taking feelings for granted. Also not

being sensitive to feelings. I am guilty for my wrongs and the thoughts

that pass my way. Help me, understand! I command to be the most

loving, generous, spiritual uplifting individual to the one I love! I am lost

in my mind at times, the mirage of the scenery is quite cloudy I’m trying

to see but my mind tries hard to get the best of me! I knew from my

early days that I was a bit challenging, never in my wildest dreams did I

anticipate my confusion of knowing how to treat the love of my life. I

have been crushed, demolished, disintegrated to a point of no

repairing! But I thank God for my wife, who still has a bit of faith in me,

not maybe I still have a chance in this world to actually obtain TRUE

LOVE here in this world. Suddenly my glimpse into the future seems to

be worth living for and fighting to keep! Cruelty, hate, and awmry

emotions are those that I hope to not encounter but with my

unexplained reactions left me to encounter them. Be little me, curse

me, but please be kind! For my heart is just as fragile as anyone else.

My exterior is rough around the edges

Swords piercing and passing through my heart

I am not the gentle spirit

I’ve done wrong from the start

There are many things I am wrong to have done

Breaking, harming not understanding how fragile you are

Has left me to realize, the error is more than one

I feel regret for sure and long to clear that bar

I am hopeful in rising to my peek

Understanding, compassion, loyal love is what I seek

To be one with yourself is to be complete

I must come to know my actions or retreat

I am seeking to be of better quality

The mere thought of my flaws brings me to reality

I am with the one and only who really loves me

Grant me the blessing of loving back and help me see

It is uncommon for me to be hateful and hurt anyone by choice

All I know is to be kind and praise to rejoice

Days are short and time can’t turn back

I must know now that I simply can’t slack

I have been judged for things I feel and say

Please God don’t leave me astray

I am grateful for my loving wife

My Goddess, my love I made my life….

© rainbowprince