Farty Mum!

Farty Mum!

All of our mums are the world’s best ma’s,

We love and wanna hug them all day!

Which is why they’ve developed a super stinky fart-

When they need to get kids out the way!

It’s true you know, and I can prove it so –

You just need to close your eyes and have a think.

It was just the other week,

When you’d been under her feet,

Then all of a sudden – POOH! Massive stink!

She had been kinda sneaky;

It wasn’t even squeaky!

She had kept her fart’s noise down right low.

And with barely a frown she had you running to your room!

Cos really, where else could you go?!

But realise this – she’ll give you a kiss,

To make up for it next time she trumps.

Cos mums sometimes need,

A peaceful moment indeed,

And that is why their bottoms sometimes hiss.

JS Harding is a novelist and humour writer who has written for BBC Comedy and NewsThump. His psychological thriller, Under Rand Farm, written under the pen name LJ Denholm is available via Amazon, while his forthcoming humour novel, The Good Dr Grevaday? is slated for release in early 2022.