Even If

Even if I don’t want to say it— I’m depressed—I’m sad—I pretend but I'm tired

I’m tired of feeling the emptiness inside my chest—inside my head

Yet this regrettably dark feeling in my soul

I feel heavy

Every day is long

Every day is dark

I’m just going because I have to

I don’t want to get out of bed

I hate leaving my bed

Why

What’s the point

Life barely has any joy

I’m sad

I’m so fucking sad

I’m not myself

No one notices

New things don’t excite me

I don’t want to go out

I will rather be sleeping

Or alone

I don’t want to be alone but when I’m with others I’m miserable

I used to love people

Now I like loneliness

Even if it's cold

Even if it's sad

Even if I miss people

Even if I love you

I’m miserable

Even if I love me

I’m miserable

I cry all the time

For no reason

I haven’t felt much

And I miss feeling

I’m numb most of the time

I need help

But it feels like no one understands

I try my best

I try so hard

But I’m depressed

I’m numb

I’m dull

Life has been sucked out of me

I’m empty

I’m alone

I’m unheard

I’m just so fucking sad

Shhh

No one knows

I try to hide it the best I can

But it’s hard

I get tired

I get weak

I want someone else to be strong for me