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Oh, Dear

By Bex JordanPublished about a year ago 2 min read
Love, U (Photo: @UmaSabirah)

Dear B,

You think you were a mistake–an attempt to fix a problem you didn’t even make. That’s a lot of weight to put on the shoulders of a babe. You thought you didn’t Matter, that your own world could shatter so long as you could see that everyone else was happy. That was your Purpose. That was your Reason for Being. But you can’t fix people's feelings, and you can’t love them into believing, and so you kept failing over and over and over and blaming yourself and ignoring the little voice inside while you tried to hide your truth. You kept searching for the proof in a puzzle you were never meant to solve, in spite of your resolve.

Ask yourself why you keep handing your heart over to people who couldn't even begin to start to understand you (because you wouldn't let them in). What were your motives when you decided to run away from anything that might break into the cracks in that wall you so desperately built piece by precarious piece? Don't you ever long for a release? Do you wonder what you could become if you weren't under the impression that you are the scum of the earth? Are you ready for rebirth? I know you tried your best to ignore those questions buzzing in the back of your mind. You think you're behind, but at least you're still alive–and finally really ready to live your own life.

You are not the mistakes you (and others) make. You are not the damaged thing you think you became. You are not a Monster in Love’s White Eyes--you have learned and grown and are a different creature since the lies (that kept you safe). Your cells are not even the same after seven years of silence. You deserve a life, and you have the Right to feel Joy. Whether or not you were wanted, you are here now and you are worthy. You are Enough, just as you are, just as you’ll be. Whether or not it’s what anybody else wants, you deserve to be Happy–whatever that means, even if it doesn’t make sense to anybody. You’re allowed to leave, even if things are “fine,” if that is what you want to leave behind. You are enough, right here, right now, and wherever the future takes you, the past does not define who you will become. You have suffered Enough. You have paid Enough.




love poemsinspirational

About the Creator

Bex Jordan

She/They. Writer. Gardener. Cat-Lover. Nerd. Always looking up at the sky or down at the ground.

Profile photo by Román Anaya.

Instagram: @UmaSabirah

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  • HandsomelouiiThePoet (Lonzo ward)about a year ago


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