Earwax Grandad!

Ear Wax Grandad!

When my grandad’s here,

And is sat quite near,

I just can’t help but take a peak;

In his big hairy ears,

(Though they drive me to tears)

Cos the stuff in there is so gross and bleak!

For it’s wax you see; it’s as thick as a tree-

And it’s browner than your brownest ever poo.

And I wanna pull it out – you could use it as a grout-

In the broken tiles around your loo!

You could stick it on a plate - make a candle with it, mate;

Or as a mound for a rugby ball,

You could even plug a hole in a boat;

Or to catch yourself a goat,

You could fill up your cousin’s paddling pool!

If you enjoyed this poem then check out Afterpoo Etiquette!

More poems to come including - My Gross, Coughy Uncle, Farty Mum! and Feet, Feet, Inglorious Feet!

JS Harding is a writer of fiction, humour, and poo/bodily fluid poems for kids!