e__n---o__u---g__h

Stomach hollow

It's late

Mind jittery

Disgusting calories...

they smile at me

Promising all lies

more slimy lies

greasiness

just like the doctors

and the parents

and that damn boyfriend

who left me

for a thinner women

I'm sure she was thinner

I saw her in my nightmare

so I believe it

She had to be...

less than 87 pounds

They all lie to me

"eat more"

"you look too thin"

"you need a cheese burger"

Words slink

d

o

w

n

my

S {} {} {} P {} {} {} I {}{} N {}{} E

making me shiver

My right thumb and middle finger

test how big my left wrist is

dare I touch my thighs?

no, not now

I can't

closing the refrigerator

smiling

I feel the empty space in me

and it is

enough

for now

I cannot eat a bite

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Note:

If you have battled any form of eating disorder in the past, my compassion and heart extends to you. Or, if you have a loved one who has battled with these types of disorder, then I understand some of the thoughts and challenges you have likely experienced. If you have not spoken up or sought out mental health services for help, then please do so, it could save a life!