E & M

Dear M,

I felt you everywhere today, but couldn't find you. Only in my heart, in my mind, and out of the corner of my eye, but always out of sight. I wonder when we'll talk again, really talk. A conversation past eye contact that begs for my attention; perhaps crossing a line that I refuse to draw with you. Boundaries have neer been our strong suit, intertwined energies as soon as you enter the room. I have no plans for stopping you, decided the day that I met you that my heart was now a space for two. Even with the distance of wanting you, I feel close to you, knowing that you feel it too.

- E

Dear E,

I saw you today. Your hair was up in a bun. The kind that lets a few pieces fall around your face, distracted as usual. You were lost in your music to leave the present moment and I don't blame you. It's easy to get swept up in the mundane routines of these hallways that always leave me feeling more heavy. You've always had a way of bringing me back to myself, lighter than a falling feather landing and freer than the bird that it came from. I wish I could talk to you as myself. I wish I could meet you as the person who fell in love with someone who could see straight through to my soul and not as the woman too afraid to truly admit it to herself. I wish I could say if I ever get there, you'll be the first to know. If I could speak from my heart and say anything to you right now, it'd be I'm sorry. I'm sorry for feelings that we're told shouldn't be reciprocated. I'm sorry for not loving you as I feel I do. For now, I'll continue searching for your face in the crowd. If I'm lucky, next time I'll catch your eye.

-M