Dulled Senses

Ash and grey consistently marked my childhood

Cigarettes in my face, cigarette smoke in my hair

Burning eyes from either smoke or crying

Nobody cared and nobody saw

But I grew up seeing the red-hot ash embers lit every day

My life in free-fall

And nobody to catch me

They'd rather catch a falling cigarette than their own child

burnt bread and fruits tasting as ash

This is why I had to move the fruit bowl to my room

So that the cigarette smoke doesn't stain the apples

like the walls stained yellow

dripping, oozing tobacco yellow

like an oozing wound,

burning cigarette burns in the skin

Nobody to care or hear or see

the pain on my skin

And the pain on my heart

Kids ask "why do you look like vampire and smell like smoke?"

Nobody to see, hear, or know

The pain in the walls of the peach house

Which smells like smoke and looks like grey inside

Nobody to see, hear, or know

When a dream dies and a person is destroyed.