Dress Code Assembly

Your skirt cannot be a

Millimeter above your knee.

“Only draw attention to your face.”

***************************************

No pants, no denim allowed

You could cause your brother to stumble.

“Only draw eyes to your bright countenance.”

No anklets, no toe rings

Only one piercing permitted for your ears.

“We don’t want to be like The World™.”

***************************************

No unnatural colors for your hair.

No unusual shades of nail polish.

“We don’t want to participate in worldly trends.”

***************************************

Culottes from the 18th century for gym class.

Oh, you like wearing fleeces to stay warm, well…

“No more fleeces! They are outerwear!”

Let’s go back and laugh at

Their uniforms of formless plaid paper bags.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

***************************************

Hideous pleated skirts

Creating an unflattering volume.

“You need to leave.”

***************************************

That joyless dress code nazi

Chases us off the premises with

“Boys–I mean people–will see you!”