Draw by Repetition
—
Nervous fingers ruffle unkept promises—
Unkempt promises; thread by thread,
Pulling them out for the bold truth to resurface.
Tell me your secrets, your deepest wishes,
What is that makes you hold on
To this life—knuckles so red with exertion?
Is it about small wins? big losses?
Scarlet sunsets? preserving bloodline?
You say:
Meet my mother;
She is timid but strong,
Stronger than you could imagine.
She's not afraid of death.
Meet my father;
He is firm but weak.
He's afraid to lose the ones he loves.
You say:
Meet my friend;
She killed herself years ago,
Before we could become good friends.
If we had, would things have been different for her?
<>
On the bright side,
You say,
Scarlet sunsets are still able to take my breath away,
Even if for a split second,
A mere moment,
So that I don't stifle and live on.
Wins, losses—all these count and matter,
All these repeat and interweave,
Fiber by fiber, stroke by stroke—
to grow into something bigger than us.
We are the passengers, we are the driving force,
The creators, the destroyers.
If history repeats itself,
If we get to have our share of wins and losses,
Then let's call our game with life
Draw by repetition.
If we depersonalize our grieves, our joys,
Pour them all into a giant pot,
We'll get an ocean of balance...
<>
And in the middle of that ocean,
Will there be an isle of stability
Made of countless bodies
You so easily depersonalized?
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Comments (11)
Congratulations on having your story featured as a top story on Vocal! This is a remarkable achievement, and it's clear why your work has received such recognition. Your storytelling is truly exceptional. The narrative was not only compelling but also beautifully crafted, holding my attention from start to finish. The way you developed the characters and plot was masterful, making the story both engaging and thought-provoking. Your unique voice and perspective shine through, setting your work apart. It’s evident that you poured a lot of passion and effort into this piece, and it has certainly paid off. I look forward to reading more of your incredible stories in the future. Keep up the fantastic work! Best regards, Dr. Jay
Read this twice, as that last bit throws up much to ponder. I did like this a lot.
The ocean of balance was a hard punch to the gut, and then the isle of bodies K.O.'d me!
So well written! 'Scarlet sunsets are still able to take my breath away,' is a gorgeous line.
The introduction of individuals such as the mother, father, and departed friend adds a personal touch, evoking a sense of empathy and shared humanity, we‘re deeply moved by the poem, loved it, and hope to read more of your work, thank you very much again for sharing this spiritual journey that touched our hearts, subscribed.
Back to say congrats on Top Story!!
"What is that makes you hold on / To this life—knuckles so red with exertion?" A powerful question and indelible image. As always, you weave big thoughts with minute details, "thread by thread" pulling out "bold truths" that leave us wondering.
Wow wow wow. Nice idea! You crafted it amazingly by giving us the heavy message! A work of top level!
So very many ideas bubbling here that I feel like I’m just scratching the surface.. Somehow your line about ‘draw by repetition’ is haunting.. I get a sense of what that means or how that’s a social parallel, yet I can’t quite put it into words.. I trust you are travelling well Andrei? Give me the deets, give me the goss and throw in a bucket of books for ‘interpreting poetry for dummies!’ (Me!)
Interesting and delicious content, keep posting more now
Wow Andrei, this was heavy and thought provoking for me! My mind is just swirling as I process the weight of your words here... The way we all process out emotions and the idea that we should take time to personalize them because they are ours, take a moment to really own them instead of pushing them away. So deep!! Great work here my friend!