Doctor, Doctor

these were the cards for me had life dealt

but this is by far the worst i have ever felt

everyone always says “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”

but what can i take for my depression to not stay?

for her to finally make a disappearance

and what will it take for my happiness to make a sudden reappearance?

i have tried everything from writing diaries to walking up hills

because still the doctor does not think i am ready for the magical pills

instead he gives me a list of the risks

ignoring that my mental health exists

he cannot see that there is a gun currently aimed at my head

one more bad day and i will probably be shot dead

he cannot hear the voices…

whispering in my ear to make bad choices

down on my knees begging “why will you not help me?”

he carries the power to set me free