Do You Know Pain?

Do you know pain??

Intense and gnashing of teeth kind of pain. The invincible dagger is steadily tearing apart your heart, making you wish for death because it is too much to bear.

A pain so sharp it pierces your heart and causes physical pain. A pain that makes you beg for a quick end yet your life is upheld even when your life flashes before your eyes and you are too beaten to call for mercy - that kind of pain.

A pain so intense that you lose your tongue and can’t find words. The type that makes your heart heavy like it were a house to a thousand heavy stones.

A pain so fierce, that you tremble. Your knees and body become so weak you can barely move - yet you are physically affirmed alright.

This is the kind of pain you do not wish upon the worst of your enemies.

A pain so heavy that your shoulders give way and your legs are too heavy to walk. And when asked if you're alright, you just stare into oblivion.

This pain eats deep into your soul, feasting on every aspect like it was a buffet served by a willing cook, leaving you no choice but to gasp and shriek with its bite and swallow.

Have you felt pain??

The types that drain you, leave you confused and so weak that your mind ceases to function and you're left to resign yourself to fate.

Have you lived pain??

Not the one from a physical injury but from an emotional turmoil that leaves you questioning every decision you've ever made that has led up to that moment. You keep asking what you've done wrong hoping you'd at least find a clue and stand a chance at remedy.

It is this kind of pain I live.

One that births constant fear and trepidation, leaving you jumpy and anxious because it has taken from you every ability to reach a good resolve.

The pain of a father who watches his offspring go hungry because he can't provide - not for laziness or lack of the zeal to work and earn his keep, but for the dirty cards life has dealt him with.

The pain of the student who has spent nights studying, in preparation for the finals only to be told by that wanton lecturer that they pay money or either warms his bed or risks failure.

The pain of a young man bottling up every struggle he faces because society has taught him that it is the only way to be a man. For every time he stumbles, every time he wants to take a break, he is told to get up and don't be a weakling because his worth is adjudged by the number of bills he can boast of.

The pain of a woman whose heart has been battered and left in shambles - and every time she tries to love again, there seems to be one heartbreak around the corner.

The pain of a mother whose joy is cut short before her very own eyes - because she had to bury her child.

Once

Twice

Thrice.

The kind of pain that snatches away tomorrow from today before it even begins.

The pain that leaves you in so much hurt that your voice creaks when you try to speak and all you can mumble are inaudible and incoherent nonsense

Such pain kills you a thousand times that even death seems easy.

But worse of all... the pain you feel, watching the one you love hurt, so badly and there’s nothing to do but grip your chest and wail.

This pain numbs you.

Strips you of every strength.

Some know pain.

Others live pain!!

And oh.. it keeps changing me.