Disaster Blaster

Perhaps I'm a magnet for disaster, sometimes I trip and fall

Has anybody got a plaster, perhaps I'll take them all.

Today I fell into a stream pulled by a lovely mutt

Not sure whether to laugh or scream, observers simply tutt.

My favourite glasses fell right in, so what it could be worse

'Oh, what a clot, my sight's gone dim,' I'd mutter, spit and curse.

A swollen ankle, cut to the head, I'm safer stuck at home in bed,

it's no surprise I've never wed, I'd have to make sure he was fed

'Oh and the children, which one's mine? Get in order, form a line.

You're late to bed, it's half past 9! But once you're there, I'll have some wine.'

My sense of time has gone awry, I'm always running late.

And when the others ask me why, I tell them,

'it's my fate!'