Disappointing End

I just want to curl up and cry,

Because once again I tried,

With another guy,

Whom I thought we were in the same place,

Maybe we both used each other as an escape,

Or an answer to a question that was waiting to be faced,

But their answer didnt lean the same way as mine,

And although we had a good but limited time,

Catching any sort of feelings would have been blind,

Yet, I was excited to see them again,

But thats not the message they sent,

Another quick beginning to a disspointing end,

A reminder why its so hard to dream,

So hard to let someone be on your team,

Why you slowly lose hope on feeling seen,

Then the shame enters the conversation,

Because you let them meet your sensations,

Trusted them enough to hold your bodies foundation,

Maybe to them adding another number to the roster doesnt mean much,

Maybe to them it was another person to feel touched,

But to me it was another lustful act that never measured up,

I know its okay to feel dissapointed, hurt even,

A short passing time to feel defeated,

But their honesty always beats feeling cheated,

Its better to know now,

Then to change my plans further down,

To let any more feeling be felt aloud,

But I just want to curl up and cry,

But tears that once would have swelled are now dry,

Because this is not the first time I tried,

Not the last time I will give my body away,

Thinking, hoping maybe this one will be the one that wants to stay,

Maybe this one will want me back the same way,

But thats what I get for seeing the world as a romantic,

Adding underlying hope to the fate of the titanic,

Where I was an experiment,

Where their conclusion wasnt me,

Left out in the sea,

After one occasion of intimacy.