Dis---till The Noise

Good morning, world, cruel as ever

-.-.-.-click (you're kidding right?)

-,-,-,-

-,-,-,-click

What's the plan for the day?, I say

To myself, because, cruel as ever

When I close my eyes

dis---taunt

(the sectors) of my curious but critical mind

My mind's dededesyncing, in a messy way

eyes open, dogs out, not clever

and p r e s s my thumbs into the skin between my thumbs and index fingers,

-.-.-.-click

I sought to bring a sense of c o h e s i o n

dis---lodge

the sentient sentiment that I'm wasting my time

to help make clearer the thought processes

That's what I tell myself... what I say

Too many mitsakes, mitsseps, not clever

the madness c e a s e s for moments

throughout my day - few and far between as they are

dis---troy

(the hidden horse) battling for Supremacy

Cruel as ever, selfish in my own cruel way

Take a leak, kettle on, hot drink I deliver

Or rather, it's dulled out and deferred to the pain

dis---trust

the niggling nagging notion that I'm wasting your time

-.-.-.-click

Me from myself for a *h o t* moment, a ray

of sunshine hits my eyes, self-hope I deliver

t h r o u g h my fingers and thumbs. Light r e l i e f, a d e l i g h t

dis---guise

the fact that I'm an outsider, (o)p e e ring(o) inside

Can I f o c u s for one moment. On hope, I say

Hope for something other than being swept by the river

how dirty are your hands?

dis---tress

the neural pathways, this is my time

Forever, for never forgetting, the past, as the ray

warms me, s o o t h e s me just a little, I c a l m like the river

When is the blessed r e l i e f? Is the jury adjourned or still

in session, c e s s a t i o n, manifestation or infestation of temptation?

dis---credit

the critic speaking ill of my skill

how dirty is your mind? how messed up is your life?

What is the who or what is the how now? time for the dishes, the hoovering

a sense of purpose

some toast and self-sympathy, self-kindness?

On a gentle day in summer, I can make better today , I confidently say

dis---engage

-.-.-.-click (you'll never make it)

from the debate

-.-.-.-click (you'll rerererepeat the same old same old)

-.-.-.-

-.-.-.-click

dis---associate

from the #noise#

dis---till clear and f o c u s thoughts

this is my time

*

Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: Another entry into the Unfiltered Challenge. Stream of Consciousness. Tried to encapsulate what it is like for the average morning inside my brain when I first wake up.

All thoughts, comments and such are welcome, as ever.

Here are some others: