Differ

Differ

January 22, 2011

I find it hard to say,

Just how I feel.

I’m told it should be easy,

But the words just

Don’t exist, it seems.

That I must

Have something wrong

With me

Is the only

Explanation.

Why can’t it be

That I’m different

In a different way?

Different,

To say the least,

Just a different beast.

There’s a new feeling,

Sometimes,

I gain this sense of,

This having happened before,

No, not déjà vu.

It’s more of a memory,

Long forgotten,

That I gain once more.

It flutters back

And I shudder.

Why can’t I differ

Differently?

Why must this be negative?

We’re all animals,

For better or worse

Our instincts show.

Fearsome beasts

To be reckoned with

Are some.

Others, soft

And kind.

Can I know the

Difference?

Can I see the

Truth?

May I, please?

To feel so awkward

Is to feel alienated.

No one seems to recognize.

No one shows concern

About me, it’s all just

Towards the disease.

A disease where I

Wish to be deceased.

Everything would

Be better,

Be easier.

But no, this is not the way.

Different in such a different way

Is unacceptable.

Being different besides the norm,

Simply cannot be.