Dear raven

My eyes have so much weight after crying, my dear raven

You can have them all

You were once my biggest dream, of soft colors, cuddles and kisses

You gave me scars, scares and sadness

As a young raven, a boy with dark raven eyes, so heavy and sad

Angry is better than crying

Pain is better not free from its bonds

I can't save you, though I loved you

I still love you

No soft colors

Just warm frothy torture sitting on the stove

From when your mother left it burning in the back

You kept making me eat your leftover transfer of trauma

If forever, if not eternity than for too long

You say you're tired of me, for 1,000’s of old recorded radio I heard this as you never let me go

Why lose your favorite toy to break?

To make and shake and rip and love?

I advance to you like a dreamer who remembers you as a young raven

Frantic for love but getting pain

I start to shed my soft colors and become gray

Gray and black and yellow

But not cheery yellow, dingy, and dirty yellow You mock me for survival You can't heal when your abuser pays all your bills I take the following train

Deep down to Sheol

Hell is a better friend than you have been

And heaven wants me to repent

I will send my regards in a letter to you for a dear raven love,

When I first loved you, so much without knowing you When I loved you as a monster, a violent raven

When I love you now

& everything that hurts before you resurrected again without any care or worry

You brought out the raven in me

Restricted and whipped