Dear Past

Dear past,

You tormented me,

Terrified me,

And you tortured me.

You hurt me,

Assaulted me,

And, psychologically abused me.

You stole every bit of confidence I had,

Destroyed my self-esteem,

And destroyed my self-worth.

You treated me like I was nothing,

Ugly,

Hopeless,

Fat,

Thick,

And worthless.

You stole the loving,

Confident,

Outgoing,

Happy person that I was.

You left me on the streets,

Then in a hospital,

With,

No sense of self,

No identity,

Shame,

Guilt without being guilty,

No idea what love was,

Lonely,

Lost,

Afraid,

Confused,

Drained,

Soulless.

You nearly killed me,

You took my children from me,

Left me to drown in sorrow and shame,

That I didn't deserve.

You guilt-tripped me for being a victim;

A victim of abuse,

Violence,

Emotional torment,

Psychological distress,

Terror.

Yes, Dear past;

You left me soulless with your name-calling,

Blows,

Punches,

Bruises,

And brutal treatment.

You left me feeling like I was nothing.

You ripped my heart, and turned it inside out;

And for what?

For being sensitive,

Vulnerable,

Disabled,

Having mental health problems.

Dear past,

It has taken me from childhood to adulthood,

To recover from half of your damage;

At least I am almost there,

And even if I never fully heal,

You won't ever stop me from being me.

Loving,

Friendly,

Caring,

Thoughtful,

Always dancing,

Always writing,

Always singing,

Always learning,

Always trying.

This is me;

You won't ever stop me from being me.