Dear Heaven, Are You Real?
An Epistolary poem
Dear Heaven,
-
Do you really exist?
Is it you that I see when I look skyward,
or just a collection of huge balls of mineral and gas.
What is up there, hiding behind those clouds, and those far away planets?
Is there truly a place of peace,
where passed relatives and friends live,
forever smiling, watching over me,
as I look at the sky on this starry night and wonder
if they really know how much I miss them?
When I say a prayer at night, does anyone hear me,
or am I just whispering to the wind?
Is there a place where my dream is real, where my faith can be restored,
or nothing more than those gaseous balls that I’d never reach in a thousand lifetimes?
There was a time when your existence was never in doubt to me.
In my younger catholic school years,
and weekly Sunday church visits,
when Christmas meant more than just presents and family feasts.
Those weekly Sunday visits seem to have been thrown by the wayside,
left behind, along with the broken fragments of my faith,
on the winding roadway of life and so-called maturity.
Maybe I’ve gotten cynical in my advancing age.
Or maybe I’ve grown so tired of fake news that I’m now in need of indisputable proof to believe in anything.
Even my faith in myself and all that I am has been chipped away in tiny bits and pieces,
lost along that roadway.
But if those bits and pieces of me, those fragments of whatever’s left of my soul should happen to find the faith I lost along the way,
then maybe, once again I can look to the sky,
and see that the loved ones gone before me are truly in a better place and will be there to greet me when my turn finally comes.
Otherwise, what’s the point of even looking up?
If those that have gone, those loved ones with whom I shared my soul and my most treasured memories have no memories or souls of their own, how can I believe that I do?
If all that’s left in the end are the dusty fragments of who I once was, can I assume the same for who I’ve always been?
Did my dad ever really hold me on his knee and sing that old country song?
Did my grandmother ever bake that raisin bread that I can still taste to this moment?
Did my friend and I ever really see those concerts and was it true that she always called me Mag?
Did I ever even meet her at all?
If there’s no point in looking up for answers, is there also no point in looking inward for understanding?
If it’s all just blind faith that sees me end in nothingness, how can I be sure that I was ever something to begin with?
Tell me, Heaven, will any of it ever make sense?
-
With hope and what’s left of my faith,
C
About the Creator
Cathy holmes
Canadian family girl with a recently discovered love for writing. Other loves include animals and sports.
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Comments (47)
Thank you for sharing your beautiful thoughts. Someday, we will get all those answers. It says in 1 Corinthians 2:9 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
As I was reading this my wife told me Gordon Lightfoot has just died. I hope he found your answer. Beautiful longing expressed in your words...
WOW!!!!!!!! It feels like your story came from a very deep place in your heart <3 And as for the answer to your question, I would say that heaven exists. For people who have knowledge and are believers heaven exists. Also Congratulations on your top story! I would love to read more soon :)
No matter how hard it gets one must have Faith. There is a heaven.
Congrats on your story!
Absolutely beautiful and wholly relatable. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Beautiful and vulnerable. I loved every line. Well done and congrats on your top story!
Congrats on the top story! I felt the words "what's left of my faith" it's hard to hold on to any of it, this was beautiful.
This was beautiful, and I think many can relate to these questions, Cathy! Great piece and congrats on top story!
Some hard-hitting questions. This line reall spoke to me: "Otherwise, what’s the point of even looking up?" Congratulations on Top Story!
Congratulations on your Top story ❤️ Greatly written
Cathy, As one who has every reason in the world to understand your questions. I still believe. ❤️
Nicely Written.
How do we make sense of a world when nobody has any answers and everywhere we look.we see doubt? You ask some wonderful questions here. Congratulations on your top story. ❤
Beautiful!
Congratulations 🎉🎉💖🎉💖✨🎉💖✨🌟🤍
Awesome Cathy, this one is absolutely beautiful. Congratulations
Glad to see this made Top Story! Congratulations!
Deep questions needing deep answers that we may never receive. Great poem!
Excellent work, full of questions that we all ask at sometime in our life.
Nice job, Cathy. And it’s a topic that interests me as well and I’ve written about it often.
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Amazing ❤️
A poem I feel everyday. Hoping the ones who have moved are in a better place and we will be able to see them again. ❤️ We'll done ♥️ Congratulations on Top story!
Congratulations, my amazing friend!!