Dead Woman Walking

Sixty one years stuck here, under my belt

with what's next, in the palm of my hands

Feeling the fear that my parents once felt

without that one single, fix all command

Chasing the dream that someone else painted

so afraid mine would not measure up

Memories and ghosts await, masqueraded

like a dime dropped in a beggars tin cup

I walk ahead, because what lies behind

is a mixture of failure and lies

Afraid to get lost or tangled inside

who I was in those far away eyes

Looking behind only gets in the way

tattered memories that death stole away

Spirits I collect in the closet betray

I may have over welcomed their stay

Don't turn around, all that lives there is dust

and the shame caught in my DNA

Covered in crust and those layers of rust

cause my demise lingers in yesterday

I am just a dead woman walking

waiting for my soul to give out

The fears of my past always mocking

another addict of loath and self doubt