Darkness

I hate myself

I hate this world

I hate the path I am going down

There’s never a point to the things I do,

So why do I do them?

Honestly, what am I gaining from any of this?

I remember the day I met him.

He made me feel like I was unstoppable,

He gave me butterflies whenever I saw, thought, or even spoke about him.

He made me feel that the aftermath was worth it.

At the end of the party, there was going to be light

My dear Sebastian, he was my only

So why did he leave?

Last night I lay in bed, staring at the darkness that now coated my walls

The darkness that is always in place of the light,

If all I can see is darkness, how do I know where to go?

How do I know where to go if no one is there to guide me?

How do I know where to go if Sebastian is not here to boost me up?

Every night after the party, I stare into the darkness

Every night I get lost in my scary thoughts, completely overwhelming my mind

Every night I wait for someone anyone to guide me.

But no one comes.

I send him letters every day,

But he never receives them

What can I do without him?

I hate being stuck in such a small place

I hate this way of life

I hate the moments after the party

The feeling of emptiness after the party

It is always the party letting me down

So what is the point of fighting for a lost cause?