Dahn

The following poem is about a boy I fell in love with a long, long time ago. Summers remind me of him.

***

Saying your name feels sensual

Writing it — forbidden

Evolution gone wrong.

A blossom that never bloomed.

Pupa with unfulfilled potential

I thought we had all the ingredients

My red hair, your deep voice

Good girl, bad boy

Inside, both broken

Outside, self-sufficient

All the ingredients

So what if some of your pieces were missing?

I could fix you with a soft kiss

If you’d let me

You did let me

I hated you for not letting me in

Later, I knew it was proof of your love

Not showing me your ugly

Your life, dual

My lust, insatiable

Heart palpitations when you texted

To help you with math. So pretend.

We never solved an integral

They gave you panic attacks

Sent you in a whirlwind into your second life

of pills, booze, forbidden identity

I could never see you at night

Until I did. Until I gave you

Your first kiss

You were afraid

Your tall shoulders shivered

Your voice, stifled

Your palms, sweaty

You looked away.

I loved you then for all your distorted innocence.

Your soft lips, your cheek melting onto mine

Into bittersweet incompatibility,

Into a silent goodbye

The first and last time we were together,

The only time you let me see the real you —

Afraid, fragile, and yearning.

© Lola Sense 2021

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Thank you for reading and many thanks to J.D. Harms for the inspiration. This poem was initially published on Medium. If you like my work, you can support me with a tip or a coffee. And if you enjoyed this, you might also like: