Counting myself lucky

I listen as they compare the ward

to a war zone on a bad day

I turn off the radio

I tighten the visor around my head

the 3rd time in an hour

and I count myself lucky

for being here and not there

I close the door of a visit and a swift thought hit the circle of fretful dread never ending In the early hours void of sleep I convince myself it will indeed before I bury it for another day

I count myself lucky as I head to work on the outskirts of a city

passing by a hospital thinking of the people

likely wishing they had my concerns as they fight for their lives

held hostage by an invisible enemy

while soldiers in white fight for their freedom

And I assure myself my truth

is an easier burden to bear

until I hear it’s queried somewhere

I feel the worry creep in

Uncertainty is hard to tolerate no doubt yet committing to theory when it’s inconclusive

worries me a hell of a lot more

I thought

No silver bullet will prevent conspiracy theories behaving like viruses and spreading just as rapidly

On darker days I allow a smile as I imagine gaudy anecdotes and sci-fi anthologies gathering knowledge faster than societal wisdoms

Working alone brings a variety of reveries I suppose

as I gather my protection at a booth of despair

the heavy reign of thought cascading loudly around me

I wish I had the time to delve into reasons of ungrounded conjecture

I’d write philosophic and poetic too-probably

I close the door on the Achilles heel

I tighten the visor around my head

the 3rd time in an hour

and I count myself lucky

for being here and not there