Conversations with my Mum

Lacking motivation with

time passing on

I had ambitions and passions - I’m not

surprised they’ve gone

All I do on my phone is scroll

faster for fun

I’m smiling, I’m smirking, I’m -

disappointing my Mum

Younger me told her - ‘Mum when I’m older

I’ll be bolder’

she asks now - how am I? - I frown

head to her shoulder

I couldn’t bring myself to break her heart

I told her ‘I’m fine’

I sold her a dream - she could believe - that had

never been mine

Relieved she smiled - and

pushed aside my hair

believing the lie - to save us

both from despair

One day I’ll dare to have that -

true conversation

where I’d tell her - ‘life's a game and

full of frustration’

The game? - I’m losing - the world?

It’s bruising

the people? - Abusing - and the future?

Confusing

No - its best to sell her the days

better to come

who can sit there and admit they’re

a failure to their mum?!

We sit there together - she is

looking my way

as if she’d heard what I actually

Wanted to say

She stares at my eyes where my

happiness should be

she addresses my soul as she shares

this message to me:

"My child you are mine

and I love you

it feels like I win every time

when I see you

Don’t let thoughts loathe you

and move you

but move them - don’t prove them

I’ll show you

Or we can sit here - for a bit, dear

for me to hold you

I’ll pray - 'God here is today's pain -

we give all to you'

As long as you live - there always is

hope in the end

time still left - don’t forget that yet - always

room to mend

Whenever you forget where your

foundation is from

just come, sit here and have a

conversation with your Mum"