Conversations with my Father in Law

I had already heard the tales of the things he would do. Things that went above and beyond yet at the same time things that family should do. Things that showed his amazing love for his family, the heart of caring that beat underneath. Stories of patience of service of just doing things for others. Things that very few would just do especially with out a hint of annoyance. The tales still hold me in awe.

Don’t ask me for specifics of the conversations had, for I could not tell you. Yet the content, the heart of them stay with me always. We would sit there in silence but always it would lead to genuine questions of how I was, how my family were and many random things, some humorous others enlightening. All I can say is after every conversation I felt relaxed, rejuvenated, seen.

And if actions speak louder than words then him building a whole platform/floor for his daughter, for our wedding, just shows the kind of man he was. It was a pleasure to help him prepare the space for her. Be there as he worked his skills and genuinely loved doing this for her. The love he had for his family is why his absence leaves such an emptiness. He did for all of them and extended his self for many more. They say a sign of your value is what happens after you’re gone. If you made an impact then it will be felt and it truly has been felt.

The actions would permeate our conversations as I would watch him with his grandkids. Gently holding them in his arms on his lap as we all watched tv. These moments spoke volumes of his love. The acceptance was always streamlined effortless in the moment. I don’t think I have the words to describe what I saw between himself and his grandkids but I leave it at pure love.

He was a quiet man and maybe he didn’t always say what was in his heart. Yet I can not say he did not show it. The simplicity of his actions can be missed if one is not paying attention. Yet if you see them for what they are they speak volumes.

I think what I miss the most is his smile. A mixture of mischief, caring and light. I still expect to see it any time I enter his home or gather with the family. It was comforting, contagious, warming and is sorely missed. It’s one of the things that plays in my mind when thoughts of him come to me. It’s comforting yet warrants the heart to miss it.

They say the best example is a life lived showing more than telling. He showed, his faith, his love, his humanity and I hope I can be half the man he was.

I miss our silent conversations, our simple conversations, our moments watching tv and his calm loving funny self. He knew how to get you to smile and just live life.