You think this is easy for me?
The week I found out, I cried
For days at a time, I lied
To everyone, said I'm fine,
But inside, a part of me died.
You think this is easy for me?
My parents are already ashamed
That I didn't live up to their name
Or their expectations they've been laying
Down for me since I became grown.
You think this is easy for me?
I make less than 20,000 a year
I go to college part-time,
At nights, I serve beer
I don't have the time or money,
To a be a mother, I fear
That'd I lose my job
And be homeless with my baby, in tears.
You think this is easy for me?
I made one stupid mistake one fateful night
He was saying everything right
I followed him home
Forgot my birth control
Now I'm on the commode
Weeping as the test shows two lines.
You think this is easy for me?
Are you telling me you don't make mistakes?
I must have a made a mistake,
Thinking you were a human like me
Prone to accidents, follies, and errors like me
But I guess you're just too holy
To understand my conflictions
To get over your convictions
And to empathize with me.
You think this is easy for me?
I made the appointment with shaking hand
My voice broke as I told my doctor when
I conceived and she made sure I understand
That there's no turning back.
She asks if I thought about adoption
If only it was that simple, no question
But how will I pay for the prenatal arrangements
If I can barely make it to the weekends.
You think this is easy for me?
I considered my options at length
Thinking about keeping it, raising it
Naming it, loving it,
But at the same time condemning it to a life
Of poverty and fights with the government.
You think this is easy for me?
I know some women have had troubles
Troubles with miscarriage, troubles with conceiving
But I can't solve their problems, I'm only me
And this is my choice, it shouldn't be up to those
Ones who claim a book knows better than me
About my body, about my femininity, about my identity.
You think this is easy for me?
Afterwards, I went home and cried long into the night.
I didn't tell my family, because I know they might
Try to force me to repent or just cut off all ties,
Because I got an abortion, because it's within my rights.
You think this is easy for me?
I don't care about your beliefs
If I'm honest, I'm so tired of them,
You won't see me for me.
You see a murderer
You see a whore
But I'm just a woman
Who wants her life to be hers.
About the Creator
CD Turner
I write stories and articles. Sometimes they're good.
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