Colorado

I love you.

That was the last thing I said to you,

before you left.

don't regret it ,

I mean it.

I'm sorry we're so tangled and angry.

I just spent a lot of time,

stuck in the moments.

remember,

I do.

I hope our last goodbye

wasn't our last.

I hope our last kiss

wasn't our last.

I hope the things I think

aren't true.

Sometimes it can feel like

I just want you to fail,

but in my heart,

you should know-

I want the best of you.

I can't take less.

I have been pushing,

so maybe some can fall back on me.

It's hard to be mad at you,

but its even harder to ignore

the sting of deceit.

I want to say sorry.

I'm sorry for the person I've become,

I'm sorry if you felt alone.

I want to say

everything.

I want to hear everything.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what I need.

I could use a week vacay,

maybe some time for just the two of us.

Sometime to talk things out,

reconnect.

Somewhere in the mountains,

nothing too fancy-

just cozy.

Here I go again,

daydreaming about you.

and it hurts,

that hurts me.

because my brain

just imagines you and her

I think I need to grow.

I'm a monster.

I'm evil and mean.

I hate myself.

Im going to sleep