The sky melted,
The ground sprouted,
But I forgot to dance with you.
I thought my pain would fly away,
But it only held onto me.
I have nightmares
sometimes
weird ones.
sometimes
They are just loops
The ones that haunt me the most
The ones that shake
My bones beneath my skin
The ones that make
My sweat stick to the sheets
Those are the ones that are your ghost
they are you
It's your feet
That stomp on the inside of my skull
They hurt and they burn
she's there too
My demons look like you
The move like you
They hurt like you
But I still go to sleep
I still look for it
I'm familiar with the pain
and your face is so lovely
I can't help but dream of more sleep,
Just for the ability to look at you.
Even if it's the you that hurts me.
Even if it's the you that is with her.
I wish I wasn't sick for you.
I wish I didn't enjoy being hurt.
I need to move on from you,
I need to get away.
I miss you in everything that I do.
But somehow, the pain of missing you
is slightly sweeter,
Than the pain
of the way
in which you love.
For now,
seeing you in my nightmares
Is better than seeing you in front of me.
I can't forget
the moments
We have shared
All of the beautiful places
I wish
I could stay in
All of the spaces
I wish
I could live in
My body craves the touch of yours.
My mind stabs itself
with the thought
of you and her.
I try to stop my brain
from wondering what anything ever meant.
I know you loved me,
I'm just not sure you knew what that meant.
Maybe you did.
Forcing myself to move on from you,
is both
so sad
yet
so
empowering.
it's hard to accept.
it's hard to say goodbye
It's hard to imagine a life without you.
But, now it's even harder
to imagine what my life would look like with you.
For a long time,
I let your voice narrate
the outline of my future.
Not anymore
Now there's nothing
No thoughts in my head
I've realized
there's no hope
in planning out the future
Right now
I'm just working
on being alone
and being ok.
All that exists is right now,
and right now,
You're not here
and right now,
I'm alive
I'm okay
I'm fine
I'm a mess
but I'm breathing
one day
I'll be on my feet again
I don't know what you've been up to
And I have to tell my mind
To stop assuming
I have to tell my mind
To stop yelling at me.
I think I'm going to miss you forever.
And I'm trying to come to terms
with being ok with that.
About the Creator
cookie foot
writing is my therapy don't bully me
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.