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Yeah, for you

by cookie foot 3 years ago in sad poetry
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I am sad.

This is a drawing of flowers that I have in a shadow box. I made it with colored pencils and a fountain pen.

The sky melted,

The ground sprouted,

But I forgot to dance with you.

I thought my pain would fly away,

But it only held onto me.

I have nightmares

sometimes

weird ones.

sometimes

They are just loops

The ones that haunt me the most

The ones that shake

My bones beneath my skin

The ones that make

My sweat stick to the sheets

Those are the ones that are your ghost

they are you

It's your feet

That stomp on the inside of my skull

They hurt and they burn

she's there too

My demons look like you

The move like you

They hurt like you

But I still go to sleep

I still look for it

I'm familiar with the pain

and your face is so lovely

I can't help but dream of more sleep,

Just for the ability to look at you.

Even if it's the you that hurts me.

Even if it's the you that is with her.

I wish I wasn't sick for you.

I wish I didn't enjoy being hurt.

I need to move on from you,

I need to get away.

I miss you in everything that I do.

But somehow, the pain of missing you

is slightly sweeter,

Than the pain

of the way

in which you love.

For now,

seeing you in my nightmares

Is better than seeing you in front of me.

I can't forget

the moments

We have shared

All of the beautiful places

I wish

I could stay in

All of the spaces

I wish

I could live in

My body craves the touch of yours.

My mind stabs itself

with the thought

of you and her.

I try to stop my brain

from wondering what anything ever meant.

I know you loved me,

I'm just not sure you knew what that meant.

Maybe you did.

Forcing myself to move on from you,

is both

so sad

yet

so

empowering.

it's hard to accept.

it's hard to say goodbye

It's hard to imagine a life without you.

But, now it's even harder

to imagine what my life would look like with you.

For a long time,

I let your voice narrate

the outline of my future.

Not anymore

Now there's nothing

No thoughts in my head

I've realized

there's no hope

in planning out the future

Right now

I'm just working

on being alone

and being ok.

All that exists is right now,

and right now,

You're not here

and right now,

I'm alive

I'm okay

I'm fine

I'm a mess

but I'm breathing

one day

I'll be on my feet again

I don't know what you've been up to

And I have to tell my mind

To stop assuming

I have to tell my mind

To stop yelling at me.

I think I'm going to miss you forever.

And I'm trying to come to terms

with being ok with that.

sad poetry

About the author

cookie foot

writing is my therapy don't bully me

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