Coin Flip

Having a brain that

Can one day conquer the world

And the next barely read

Makes me feel like ripping out every hair on my head

Bit by bit

To punish it for its malfunction

The headaches hit and it seems as if

This is happening anyway

I mean, I still have my hair

But the brain is gone

Hidden so deep in the foggy wilderness of nothing

That I’m not sure I will ever get it back

And then it shows up

“Good as new”

And works for a bit

Showing me what it’s capable of

Reminding me of what my baseline “should” be

Then trouncing off into the wilderness again

Leaving me lost and alone

Unable to do basic things

When just the day before I could do all the things

I had to learn patience

And gentleness

With myself

Because my brain

It’s doing its best

In there

No matter how thick the fog

And the days when its voice is so far away that I’m alone

I will sit

And persist until its re-arrival

With the realization

That I will always be two sides of this coin

And must come to grips

With the reality that each day

That coin might flip