clown tautology

I know I like you too much

I could love you if you knew

how could I not

if you were the only one

who stood by me

in the most cavernous

and crouching Cimmerian shade?

when all the monsters from inside of me

they stood in front of me

I could see their claws

clasping

on my throat

I couldn’t breathe

encapsulation of contradictions

in my poor being

you are the same

in challenging things

I admire your strength

in hard times

but all that bothers me about you

is this clownish point of view

all reduced to banality

whenever I try to pick up trivialities

and divert it from the most frequented route

you never let me, leaving tiny bits of blue

breaking through

the only thing I hold on to –

kindness, Your Majesty, and all the greys left beneath your feet