Chronic Pain

I guess I have been doing alright, I have been sleeping a little at night.

I don’t want to be a pain and complain

that's when people start to go insane

Thinking it could change things, but it won't.

It's up to me, I got make the change that’s why were free,

But I can't seem to clear the fog that’s stopping me

There's no future that’s bright enough for me to see.

Where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to be?

I worry all day what tomorrow may have in store

I no longer feel comfortable and secure

Thoughts race through my mind, Even when everyone else is at rest

I think about how I'm at my worst, When the reality is I am at my best.

I keep asking God if all this is a test.

I know I'm going to fail but I keep riding that rail.

I can't give up that's not who I am

I have to keep going but, damn!

I'm not sure how to stay strong

I've been down and in pain for so, so long.

I look for hope and inspiration everywhere I turn

But dealing with all this, there’s so much I need to learn.

I got to keep moving forward in order to survive,

I got to keep finding reasons I want to stay alive.

The worst part is the struggle is with me.

I'm fighting an opponent I can't see.

I never know what the next move will be.

They beat me down till I can't feel no more

Most the time I struggle to get up off the floor.

The pain becomes way too much,

I cannot stand just the slightest touch.

“please just hold me, no stop there's too much pain!”

“I can't do it today I got a headache again!”

I spend a lot of time feeling like I have let everyone down

And wondering why I'm even still around.

I do know that I can't just go

The reason why is what I don’t know.