Choices

We all have choices to make in life, and none of us can say we are free of having made bad ones.

I know in my heart I always tried to make the right choices, but looking back at my life, I can see where I’ve made poor ones despite my intentions.

We have all made bad choices, but my belief is that what truly matters is our intentions, as long as they are made clear.

I know you disagree with the choices I’ve made, but they were what was necessary for me at the time.

We can all have different perspectives on life.

The wrong decision for you may be the right one for me.

I know you don’t agree with me, and I don’t know where I went wrong.

Of course, I know what happened in our situation, but I can’t pinpoint the exact choice I made that screwed everything up.

I often wonder if I truly did do something wrong, or if it just wasn’t what you expected our lives together to be like.

We didn’t see as much of each other as I thought and when we did, we were both tired and didn’t always handle things in the best way.

So, it shocked me when you reached out to me recently, because we hadn’t spoken or seen each other since you left, and it didn't seem like we ever would again.

I was putting a lot of thought into how and when to respond, but you revoked your message before I had finished making my choices.

Taking my time is something that isn’t new for me, it’s a part of who I am.

It was then that I realized that it must have been your choice that caused us to fall out and not my own.

Why else would you suddenly give me no time to think before responding—unless you thought I figured out what you’d done?

You were acting guilty and it threw me.

Your inability to respond as you usually did only solidified the idea in my mind that you did something wrong, or simply made your own choice, and had reached out to try to ease some of your guilt.

And so now, I must sit and wonder what choice it was that you made that ended our lives together, and I ponder the possibility I might not have even been there when you made that choice, even though our lives were so entwined.

For me, everything was fine when you left, because we could still be together just with some distance.

But then with your push of a button, nothing would be okay again.

Choices are funny like that, such small and simple ones can carry such huge consequences, even for people who might not have been otherwise involved.

It truly amazes me that all of life is a series of decisions, each carrying their own weight depending on who is making them and who is facing their outcome.

Something as simple as a text can have next to no impact on the sender, but make a world of difference to the recipient, and vice versa.

In life, we all make choices, the true issue we face is knowing whether we are making the right ones.