Chaos and Comfort

I turn around as the scent of lavender and Irish spring

Tickles my nose, a calming zephyr in the air doth bring

But it is the taste of Earl Grey tea, that soothes my soul

A warm, comforting embrace that makes me feel whole

My senses heightened, I become aware

Of the chaos that lurks, deep inside my lair

Yet, I hope that you can't see, the turmoil that swirls

My heart, it yearns, for your loving curls

Your soft humming, a melody so sweet

Dances in my ears, and I feel complete

But it also threatens, my walls of reserve

As it pulls at my tears, making me observe

Even with all the strength I have

It's hard to stay still, and not run to your salve

To the place where I feel most at ease

But my fears hold me back, and my worries do tease

I pray to any being that will hear

To give me the strength, to conquer my fear

To not break down and fall to my knees

To not leave myself as a mess, to please

My heart screams within my chest, it longs for your touch

My mind yells, nowhere is safe, not even as such

As I take a sip of Earl Grey tea, trying to settle my mind

My palms press deep into the edge of the bookshelf, I hope to find

The strength to resist, the urge to run

To hold back the chaos, to keep it shunned

And to face my fears, with a clear head

As I stand here, in this moment, on this precipice, I dread.