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Catamorphosis

Cat house rules.

By J. S. WadePublished 9 months ago Updated 7 months ago 1 min read
24
King Fabian & Queen Ella

Cat hair here, Cat hair there

OMG, it’s everywhere.

In the air, on my clothes,

hairball vomit on my toes.

On the carpet, and the rugs,

on the walls, cat fur’s stuck,

in my mouth, on the bed,

under the couch, and on my head.

Floating fuzzies for the sport,

“Cat Eyes” stare, meow, hold court.

King and Queen, quite debonaire,

mass-producing feline hair.

Grab the vac, unclog the brush,

empty the bag, the toilet flush.

Surrender angst, you’ve lost the fight,

cat fluff reigns, accept your plight.

In the mirror,

I’ve grown whiskers

claws need clippers,

a long tail flickers.

I’m cat food tasting,

litter box wasting,

dropping cat stink,

like a spotted lynx.

I dream of a mouse,

under the house.

then sleep all day,

and all-night prey,

Fabian laughed, Ella Jane roared,

“Hair’s for you to be transformed.

Our magic threads, like pixie dust,

Morphed your shape to be like us.”

Felines rule, canines drool,

Time to stop, playing the fool.

Just submit, you’ve been changed,

Your DNA, rearranged.

Cat hair here, Cat hair there,

Beware, my friends. It’s everywhere.

Meow, meow, meow.

Spffft!

Hisssssssss!

Purrrrrrrrrrr!

Mee....owwww!

nature poetrysurreal poetryhumor
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About the Creator

J. S. Wade

Since reading Tolkien in Middle school, I have been fascinated with creating, reading, and hearing art through story’s and music. I am a perpetual student of writing and life.

J. S. Wade owns all work contained here.

Reader insights

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Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  1. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  2. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  3. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (20)

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  • L.C. Schäfer8 months ago

    "Our magic threads, like pixie dust/Morphed your shape to be like us.” - I LOVE THIS BIT!

  • Gina C.8 months ago

    Haha, this is so funny, Scott! 🤗 I grew up with cats, but they were always outside cats. I never knew the "hairy" situation that was indoor cats until I lived with my cousin for a year after college. She had two cats that shed EVERYWHERE! Then, I married my husband, who had the hairiest DOG that shed everywhere. I've been growing whiskers and a wagging tail for awhile now 😅

  • Phil Flannery8 months ago

    Yeah, I think the last two lines say it all. Cat madness has set in. We have two cats, who sleep all day and want food at different times through the night. They do my head in. Great poem.

  • Donna Fox (HKB)8 months ago

    This was fun and far too relatable for me Scott!! I love the whimsical feel of to and your rhyme scheme was great too!! Nice work Scott!

  • Nicely done

  • Hannah Moore9 months ago

    Lovely lyrical poem. Brilliant. Literally had to take a cat hair off my mug as I read it though...now my face itches.... Am I fated to be....meoooow!

  • Sian N. Clutton9 months ago

    😂 This is excellent! Flowed nicely and funny to boot!

  • Hahahahahahahhahaa this was so hilarious! I love Fabian and Ella!

  • Dana Stewart9 months ago

    Puuuurfect! ❤️

  • Grz Colm9 months ago

    Ahhhhh! Bahahahha. “In my mouth” 🤣. This is funny - great job!! 😊👍

  • Cathy holmes9 months ago

    Oh, and Abigail says Fabian and Ella are doing a great job. 🤣

  • Cathy holmes9 months ago

    Haha. I can so relate. And how about the ones that get stuck to your eyelashes. Lol

  • Lamar Wiggins9 months ago

    😹 I think the worst part was "in the mouth". That's when I grab the clippers and they all get shaved... Humorous poem!

  • The grey cat looks just like Angel, except that he also had white boots. And I hear you about the hair. Luna, that last of our son's surviving pets is a long-hair calico. I swear we could knit a new cat from the fur she leaves behind every other day. (That is, if I was any good at knitting, lol.)

  • JBaz9 months ago

    What a Cat -astrophic story. LOL you nailed it. We had to take our daughters cat in as her new place is no pets....I feel your pain

  • Babs Iverson9 months ago

    Purr fect!!! It's the Cat's Meow!!! Catchy rhyming poem!!!❤️❤️💕

  • Lol 😆 nice

  • Alex H Mittelman 9 months ago

    Fantastic work 💜♥️🩶🖤💙🤎💛💚❤️🩵💜💗💕 great job and beautifully written!

  • Judey Kalchik 9 months ago

    Reads like Shakespeare's 3 witches had a hand in this spell. I liked it so much I read it twice.

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