Buzzzz...

Follow me on an imaginary journey…

and/or...

Take a hallucinatory trip with me...

For years I’ve been hooked.

On writing My Story as a book.

I always get stuck,

in the traumatic muck.

But that changed,

And in my mind I rearranged.

January 20, 2021 was the day,

I discovered another way!

A little black book writing contest!

I’ll do my best!

No cuss words allowed,

Of that, she would be proud.

I wrote my mother a letter.

Asking her to do me better

than in the past.

To at least help me at last.

Please, before I die...

Answer me...Why?

I got a return letter from my mother,

the one and only another…

This is what she wrote,

I don’t know.

Here’s a check for 20 grand,

To help you to understand,

you are strong and you are a fighter,

but you are not a very good writer.

I hope,

This helps.

Use this money,

entirely,

to pay someone else,

to tell your tales.

Because you will surely fail!

My last wish

is this,

At least about your youth,

Please, don’t tell the truth.

Save me my shame,

use a different name.

Nobody but you needs to know...

Just how your story goes.

So, please and thank you, if you would...

To me, Ann Nonymous sounds good.

PPS YES!

I’ve always been a procrastinator,

I found out it’s better to do sooner than later:

when I started this journey of mine,

done completely in rhyme,

on Valentine’s Day!

And it’s already the 28th!

So, I’m in hurry!

I must scurry!

I’m not short on words, but, of time.

March 2nd is the fast approaching deadline!

I believe it is time now to set sail,

telling these bales of tales,

by myself.

With nobody else.

I know she still thinks she has the power,

To make me cower.

But, surprise!

Not this time!

I do not wish to be

anyone other than me!

With my door slightly ajar,

I sat in my cozy nook.

Reading and writing in my small black notebook.

Remembering each and every page.

Brittle and faded with age.

Tear stained and tattered.

All that really matters is,

How Bizarre*

Marked with a st*r!

My mother’s check bounced!

Not enough money in her account.

I lost hope for help,

to stop myself.

I must have an infection.

I don’t want CJ to catch it!

How Bizarre*

I jumped in my car.

I drove fast, with urgency!

This is an emergency!

In need of help and improvement!

I had to see Dr Newman...

I could not help it!

Nor could I quell it!

How Bizarre*

They are.

These words in my head keep burning.

Constantly twisting and turning.

Into something else.

Here, see for yourself.

I handed her my laptop.

Please make it stop!

She didn’t get very far,

before she thought, How Bizarre*

And then,

at the end,

she wrote in my chart,

How Bizarre*

I asked her for medication.

She recommended an evaluation.

I sighed.

She cried,

you need to take

a break.

Take some time to replenish.

So that you win when you finish!

She handed me an envelope.

On it she wrote I hope, no, I know.

You need this more than me.

And right now is when you leave.

I looked at the Dr. and the Dr. said,

This will help the words jumping from your head!

How Bizarre*

I thanked her as I closed the door.

Inside were tickets for a 10-day cruising vacation.

A totally out of your mind destination!

Once on board,

I reaped reward;

by placing a bet,

on the game of roulette.

My first spin,

$20,000 I did win!

I had never played before.

I didn”t play anymore.

I have a condition.

It’s known as addiction.

Gambling was never my habit!

And I knew not to chance it.

So, not being a fool,

I jumped in the pool!

And swam up to an open bar!

How Bizarre*

With tearful, bloodshot eyes,

I finally I realized,

she got me!

Cruising with both the Poetic and Psychiatric Societies!

PPS YES!

It was definitely intentional!

And even unconventional!

What a trip!

A healing gift.

So many times she tried,

to improve my life.

She said it she wasn’t doing her job,

if I continued to sob.

At her insistence,

with my written permission,

she posted some stuff...

about me and such...

on her social media site.

And, overnight,

with my consent and her intent,

whatever it was that she sent,

passed vocal and went viral!

The words continued to spiral!

Too good to be bad!

Am I going mad?

Up, up and away!

Only to find out in just 10 days…

With need.

To me.

PPS YES!

I have an appointment next month,

I intend to show her what she helped get done.

This is just another way that it grew.

I received some surprising, yet not so, surprising news.

The Psychiatric Society,

sent to me,

a prescription, if you will,

to finally kill,

ONLY the pain inside of me.

A $20,000 money gram!

DAMN!

To be used, they hope,

to help,

find myself;

at a place they called a quiet retreat?

Is this what’s really meant for me?

No. Too slow.

Half of this money,

was from the Poetic Society!

I’m now on a mountain,in a tree-top cabin…

And I am havin’,

too much fun!

And I’m still not done!

Because, I’m finding myself, deep in the woods.

Doing way better than good!

Realization is rough,

Self-analyzation is too much!

Everything is in and of itself.

For me, as well as, everyone else.

PPS YES!

It seems that this,

is a because of that ship,

full of poets and shrinks!

And, I may have had too much to smoke or drink!

What do you suppose you think?

Like the pieces of a puzzle, it fits!

I predict, myself, to be the next great internet hit!

On Saturday night, I asked

My Friend, Louise,

Again, to do some proofreading for me,

Another little black book writing contest entry.

On Sunday night, when she finished,

My Friend, Louise,

told me that I have a talent, a gift.

And to stop keeping it hidden.

My Friend, Louise,

told me that she,

had something for me.

She said that I,

had to come by,

and not to ask why.

On Monday night, I arrived on time.

My Friend, Louise,

she herself taught me.

She means what she says and says what she means.

And she said this is my kind of green!

It was hard to believe!

She gave me her stash!

$20,000! In cash!

As well as some grass!

Nothing beats that!

PPS YES!

Except…

A long time ago,

I didn't know,

That my probation officer,Louise, would become,

someone…

wait a minute,

I’m not quite finished,

with what's within.

Discreetly,

and/or secretly;

I long ago yearned,

for the tables have I have turned.

And now, I hope to earn...

My sweet Sugar’s approval and laughter.

Not just now but forever after!

My Friend, Louise,

I turned you in for growing weed.

Without seeds!

I called the crimestoppers 1-800-number.

Do I make you wonder?

My friend, Louise.

Now would be a great time to make this,

A Possible Poetic Fiction Transition Revision Omission!

It only makes sense,

to hide the evidence.

Bring it here to me,

give me the weed!

Set yourself free!

Indeed.

Oh well,

No hell.

LOL!

I’m not...

High, louise, my friend.

Since way back when...

The end.

With this I say “I got this!”

As I finally only not literally just “Lost it!”

L M A O

I’ve got to go…

But, come to my house

On March 12th about

6 pm

And then

We’ll party

Not hardly

However, we will celebrate!

Because this is the icing on the cake!

In concluding,

I must say I found this the most amusing.

PPS YES! Oops!

I did it again!

And this completes My Possible Poetic Fiction Transition Revision #Blurred Vision

Completely by, the one and only, Me.

I call this one…

and/or

an A hole, in one…

and/or

An all in one…

and/or

because of…

and/or

A Buzzz…

and/or

I boast…

and/or

The most…

and/or

A toast…

and/or

A roast...

To the one and only one...Me.

PPS YES!

Please don’t take this seriously,

It’s only meant to be fun!

And now I am actually done!