Brother

May 21, 2021, marked 13 years since the passing of my younger brother. People like to pretend that time heals all wounds. But for those who are beginning their passage through grief following the loss of a loved one, I would like to offer the words of the chorus below because they are truer than anyone is willing to admit. Sometimes remembering the deceased will feel like reopening a painful wound. At other times it will be a welcomed comfort. I have found that learning to accept both scenarios is the only way to move through my own grief.

Poetry has been an incredible emotional outlet for me over the years, even before my brother’s death. I think of songwriting particularly as a way of releasing whatever is on my mind. Whether it is grief, anger, joy, or excitement, I can let it go in a song and not hold onto it. If I give it away it no longer belongs entirely to me. It belongs to everyone, and that makes the weight of things much easier to bare.

Brother

V1:

Take me to the ocean

I want to be buried in

The deep end of the tide

Where ships on the horizon

Sail into forever

Beneath an early morning sky

Waves crash around me

Rolling back to the shore

Pull me down in the undertow

And it don’t mean anything

Else except I’m not ever

Coming back home

Chorus:

You’ll see me in the faces

Of my long forgotten friends

I’ll be speaking a language

You can’t understand

I’ll be hidden in places

Where you’ve never been

But my ghost will sneak up on you

Again and again and again

V2:

Walk with me under stars

In the dark of the night

Where reality fades into grey

And lift up your eyes to see

Me staring back in your

Faint dreams of yesterday

Haunted street corners

And breezes that blow from

A past that’s never quite done

Keep your heart in a flutter

Returning to questions of

Where has he gone

Chorus:

You’ll see me in the faces

Of my long forgotten friends

I’ll be speaking a language

You can’t understand

I’ll be hidden in places

Where you’ve never been

But my ghost will sneak up on you

Again and again and again

Bridge:

Oh, the leaves are falling in the wind

Like the tears streaming down your face

Oh, don’t believe what they’re whispering

He’s never coming back to this place

Chorus:

But you’ll see me in the faces

Of my long forgotten friends

I’ll be speaking a language

You might understand

I’ll be hidden in places

Where you’ve never been

And my ghost will come back for you

Again and again and again

You can watch a rough recording of the music by following this invitation only link.

You can also find our father's reflection on grief in this blog post from Out Here Hope Remains.

If you are missing someone you have lost, you are not alone.