Breadcrumbs

Distant sadness, morning after

The closer we get, the farther you run

I can still remember the time you said

You were putting my face on everyone

The silence claws at me like a crescendo

I think I might just jump out of my skin

Where am I supposed to put all of this wanting?

I let it pour out and you kiss it back in

I lay in wait for whatever you’ll give

Sometimes it’s a feast and sometimes it’s crumbs

I’m starving for you the second you leave - either way

I never know which until one of us comes

Then one of us goes, and the cycle starts over

Obsession and preoccupation

Words unsaid tug at the corners of

My dignity like degradation

Or like the sheets, twisted beneath us

Holding back questions, cracks in my voice

It leaves me so breathless, filled with an ache

But chasing this feeling is my favorite choice

Masking my truth, it stretches and smothers

Withdrawal and the weight of pretending

While you act like it’s commonplace, collecting hearts

As evidence that you’re ok with endings

That you’re worthy of what’s real (we all do it, no judgment)

But will you wear mine on your chain?

We love in secret, I mourn in silence

Why can’t I just shoot you straight into my vein?

You let me think it was more than it was

And made me just known enough to drop walls

Matched my intensity, looked into my eyes

And saw a version where only one of us falls

You knew all the right things to say all the time

Laid it on thick, praised me like it’s your kink

Held my face in your hands and called me special

Then left me alone wearing punishment pink

Connected by so many threads that tangle

The similarities twist, they tear and they fray

Your tattoo says loyalty, mine says devotion

But hey, here we are, at the end of the day

Just different octaves of the same virtue

In my bed it feels more like sheer irony

Chest to chest we breathe, and we know

Love can be slow, but then there’s this fire in me

You want me most when I stay a stranger

I peek through your blinds, you back away

Being loved and known must feel like danger

But you already risked it all just to play

You pursued me when I let the words bounce off

Even though you were trying to pierce through my shell

And I fell for it all, hook, line and sinker

Now your sudden distance is a cold kind of hell

You notice the details, embrace all my flaws

And I still have your skin and tattoos memorized

The skyline across your stomach burned into my brain

Just what I wanted, materialized

And the rest of you too, like that beard colored ginger

Burns so good when I sip it with Jack

Hands in my hair, teeth marks and fingernails

Tracing confessions all down your back

What I wouldn’t give for another hit

If you ever want to re-light this match…

You used to deliver ‘em steady and strong

Now they dissipate and I’m forced to detach

Am I just a fool? Are you just a fake?

Have I been in some kind of denial all along?

You might not reach out, but you’ll remember me

Whenever you hear one of our songs

I guess I’ll scrawl your name in my notebook

With all the other fizzled out, dead-end love

That burned too bright and combusted too soon

I left a mark though, when push comes to shove

It doesn’t make it easier to move on at all

But I know for sure that whenever you see

Leopard print, whiskey, and cowboy boots

And that actress that doesn’t look a thing like me

You’ll wonder too, the same way I do

Was this all just one beautiful mistake?

Or could we have been something if I played it cooler

Instead of overthinking every move that you make?

One day I’ll stop checking the weather

Wondering where you might be

Guessing your schedule to see if we can be together

Determining likelihood of proximity

At first I’ll hope to run into you everywhere

I’ll stay at our favorite bar ‘til it’s dark

But then I’ll get over you the same way I always do

When someone brand new helps me light up a spark