blurry

i pay for my

cheap dopamine

in blurry thoughts

and weak knees.

it’s actually

quite expensive.

i forgot people

feel things.

ever since you left

the world looks

like a ‘70’s movie

where everything moves

s l o w

and the colors

are dull.

i hope you come back

for me

to make me smile

again

tuck my hair

behind my ear

but i hope you don’t

because i will fly

and then be buried

six feet under.

the ground is cold

but if you lie very still

you don’t feel it.

so i stare at a screen

shove plastic in my ears

til my eyes

droop closed.

my heart probably

hurts

but i wouldn’t

know.