Blanket Forts

I wish I didn't have to be here...

The drive was too long and the road was wet from the rain...

We were in the middle of dinner and you interrupted an already rollercoaster-esque evening.

I hate this room, in this building, the walls are cold and envious and the light, harsh, and devious.

I wish I didn't have to be here...

There are far too many people making far too much noise and the tv thinks it knows exactly what I need in life...

It has all the answers you know... the tv... or so I muse.

This chair is like a nightmare for my already stressed shoulders and back... it is taunting my muscles and making fun of my posture... my feelings are hurt.

I wish I didn't have to be here...

I wish I didn't have to be here... holding your hand, colder than usual, tangled in vines...

I wish I didn't have to be here... listening to the machines as they talk to the nurses and pretend that I can't hear the conversations. I understand their banter... his heart is broken... it is tired and worn from a long life of hard work and rough shop hands... and the smell of old diesel engines and green paint.

I wish I didn't have to be here...

with so many faces, so forlorn, so familiar, yet unrecognizably foreign, twisted by pain...

I wish I didn't have to be here...

because you shouldn't be here... you are invincible... my hero... you are magic and Magic doesn't get hurt... Magic doesn't have a broken heart... an off beat to a decrescendo that may not last the night. Magic doesn't die.

I wish I didn't have to be here...

holding my cousins and worrying about my kids... my own grief put on hold to be strong... how do I tell them that you're too weak to see them... what if... what if I have to tell them that you're gone? what if someone has to tell ME that you're gone?

I wish I didn't have to be here...