Black & White Thinking

I've been living my life in black and white

And I had never even realized.

Since I was younger, teetering on the line of

Child or adult, female or male?

"Practically perfect" and "just hang yourself".

Ricocheted between extremes.

Wedged into society's binaries.

Forced over-simplicity.

I used to believe in it too.

Because I didn't know that you couldn't believe,

Being in a world ruled by either/or thinking.

Even though I was living proof of in-between.

I've noticed how much my vision has changed since.

A monochrome world exchanged in an instant

for color.

Vivid.

Color.

Her pressed pink lips parted

As we lay face down in waves of green weeds,

tumbling into possibilities

I never knew to think.

In stillness, my shirtless body floating

within blue quiet majesty.

Not yet having seen surgery.

Just glimpsing that technicolor world.

With every year, that view seeped through

cracks I couldn't see, and saved me.

But the change seemed gradual,

a gradient.

Slow spinning wheel barely leaving

behind its mark.

Until last year hit like a saturated flood.

And I saw my mind's levee break.

And the color of life came rushing in.

Intensely beautiful.

Intense pain.

Red cries for lives, for homes, for peace.

Piercing sounds

Reverberant in the streets.

Painted on the walls,

A reverent masterpiece

Paying homage to all we've lost

While looking forward to release

From black and white thinking

And society's binaries.

Here's to embracing the colors within ourselves.

For only then, will we be living free.