Birth and Death

When you exist for someone

it is not simply because you are born into this world

but because you are born into

their world.

I saw you born

I held your face with both hands

and watched the sunlight forge a path through your downcast lashes to reveal your eyes

I watched the moonlight bend to kiss your eyelids closed

I heard the air enter into your breathing

I heard the breeze stop to hold your laughter

I felt your hands and fingers curl into mine

I felt the trembling and the softening of your lips against my lips.

But when all this is gone,

then you cease to exist

even if you are still living in the ordinary world.

So I saw you born

and I saw you die.

The silence

when you left me

it grew

and sometimes

when it was so quiet

and when the night seemed to enfold into itself and hollow out,

then

I could hear our old life

living somewhere between the darkness

and half-vivid and half-faded memories.

I would try to recall your smile

from a memory

and then cover my eyes

so that later

I would see only that smile.

But when even that began to fade

then I was left to just close my eyes, preferring the darkness

where shadows would emerge

that could have

been you

even if just to fool myself

for a brief

moment.