Being Yourself

I have a constant fear of talking to others

I'm not sure why

Most of the time I'm ok talking

Yet I have moments where I freeze up and can't get the words out

Sometimes I wish I was more charismatic

Honesty I think it has to do with my gender identity.

I'm non binary etc

I guess I get afraid to be myself cause I don't know how everyone else feels

Which I know is stupid

I should just be myself

But that is way easier said than done

Plus talking equals more of a bond within a relationship

I've been let down before

So I get scared it could happen again

It hurts so much to trust someone

Then get betrayed

And let down

Yet you can't allow fear to always control you

I have a friend who I really trust and admire

Like we're so much a like

I'm always trying to act more like her

I feel like I've also rubbed off on her which is cool

It's great to have friends who trust and actually care about you

That's so hard to come by, especially as an adult

It's so strange how different we act between childhood and adulthood

I know several people from childhood who are completely different now

I'm learning it's ok to be yourself

To speak up

You're not hurting them

You're only hurting yourself if you don't take those steps

And thrive