Beauty in the Darkness

Lie to me, tell me you love me. Tell me that I’m everything you ever wished for. The illusion you created in your head about me. The fantasy you thought once was, never truly became.

Pulling the strings, the flames in my fire your waves could never hold.

The idiocy of the darkness that consumes us while things start to get old.

Dripping the blood that runs from my soul. A dagger worth a thousand words.

Controlling the fears of losing control. Losing my mind in the process, who is that who stares back at me? The person in the mirror I don’t think I recognize. That’s not me…. It couldn’t possibly be. Those eyes, the fire that falls with every tear. Those lines, directions seem mazed.

A maze. It is, the confusion, the excruciating anguish at the bottom of the pits you left empty.

A twist , a turn, the pulls, MY HEAD! Who am I, what have I become. I couldn’t possibly blame you! I wasn’t strong enough to push! The horns, when will the ram decide to show!

The crashes, the mediocrity that absorbs my every waking moment. Starting but never finishing. What is this? I thought I was okay, where am I? Where have I found myself yet again….

The hole, the shadows, deep down. I don’t know you, this isn’t familiar….. Wait, it is.

Murk. I do, hello, old friend. I definitely remember you!

Reach up, dust off, lift up! Breathe. Familiarity is the cruel darkness of confusion. Still, I won’t be. Not anymore. Off the ground I lift again, to rise like the phoenix. The ashes left as the dust the strength overcomes. Like a mountain I will move!

Green. It is greener. The other side radiates as the sun shines on those same eyes. Those same lines. Guiding now in that same path, there’s light now. I can see it. The contentment that relief should bring. The elements felt around the hues of each waking sense. It’s easier to breathe now. It wasn’t you, it was me for allowing you. It was me for not sooner realizing I had the power. I had the strength, you were lucky enough to frighten it away in the moment.

I’m awake now. It’s easier to breathe. I can and I will… You will no longer hold power over me because I now see I had the strength all along and you won’t dare to leave those same scars again. You fear it because you see it now. I see it now. The intensity of the flight I will now take!

You feel it. I do too. You can too. I forgive you.