Letting someone in
Letting you love me
First means...to admit I haven't been loved enough
To admit how desperately I want it
I believe I am a mystery
Only because those I've let see me were not willing to comprehend what was shown
The truth is I am bare
Perhaps this is why I do not leave my house
For if anyone dared to look close enough
They'd see everything
Every scar
Every crevasse
Every crack
Every infomercial detailing me
From point A to Z
Perhaps this is why I'm so deeply disappointed and dissatisfied with people
In my surface-level interactions with them
It's not their fault, they don't deserve it
And yet...
Perhaps I judge others so harshly because I cannot yet seem to accept myself
I cringe at everyone because I cringe at myself
A mirror of this magnitude
And of my own making
To be the harbinger of my own suffering is a fate, a path I never would have walked had I known
But I didn't know
I didn't
And I wish I did
Oh how I wish I did.
About the Creator
Amanda
Angst? Just an esoteric soul wrapped up in 21st-century BS hoping one day it'll make sense where I fit into all of it; one day I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel. For now... I write because if I spoke, the words might be lost
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