Balancing Kindness: Avoiding People Pleasing

In life, it’s natural to want to be considerate towards others and make them happy, but it’s important to find a balance between being genuinely kind and becoming a people pleaser.

1. Being Kind Without Overdoing It

It’s wonderful to be helpful and considerate towards others. However, constantly striving to please everyone can lead to disappointment and feeling unappreciated. When you go to extremes to please others, it may not lead to the desired outcome.

2. Avoid Compromising Your Principles

Being excessively accommodating can backfire. Psychology has a concept known as the 100–1=0 rule, which suggests that if you’re kind to someone a hundred times but disappoint them once, they may forget all your previous efforts. Imagine a person who constantly lowers their standards to help others, hoping it will change how others perceive them. Instead, this can lead to ridicule and being taken advantage of.

And cautioned that being overly eager to please at work can lead to becoming a pushover who does extra work without receiving promotions or raises. People pleasers often put themselves in a lower position, signaling that they can be taken for granted each time they compromise.

3. Prioritize Self-Care and Authenticity

As you navigate life, it’s crucial to find comfort in being your authentic self. Why stress over someone who doesn’t appreciate you after decades of living? Let go of the need to impress others, and you’ll feel liberated. You won’t constantly seek approval or burden yourself with the need to be likable.

Pleasing others can be emotionally draining. If someone doesn’t value your efforts, it’s better to focus on your own well-being and live life on your terms. Learning to love yourself is essential. As the saying goes, “In just a few decades of life, the most important thing is not to please others but to satisfy yourself.” Your happiness and fulfillment should not depend on others’ approval or doubts. Prioritize self-love and live authentically.

In summary, while being kind to others is admirable, it’s essential to strike a balance and avoid becoming a people pleaser. Being overly focused on pleasing everyone can lead to disappointment and a loss of self-worth. Find that middle ground where you can be genuinely kind without compromising your principles. Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being over trying to please everyone around you.

Thank you for reading!