Balance?

Life is a constant balancing act.

Constantly trying to figure out what is too gay.

Too black,

Too straight,

Too much,

Too little.

Getting exhausted on this little trapeze line.

Always threatening to snap

Under the weight.

Tiptoeing forward and running back

Others shine their spotlights on me.

Trying to label me,

Because they can’t stand the fact that I elude them.

Their lights blind me

Keeping me from finding what it is I am looking for,

On the other side.

Just out of reach,

And it kills me.

Because I feel like this is what will make me whole,

What will allow me to take a breath?

So I adopt a mask,

Bisexual today,

Stright tomorrow,

Gay the next day.

Keeping them off balance so I can regain mine.

I wear so many masks,

Somedays I don’t know who is looking back at me.

A stranger

running around,

In my body.

Why do I need a label,

Why do I need to worry about being anything,

It’s not for me,

It’s for others.

So they can be comfortable.

But what about me?

How can I be comfortable when I am not whole,

How can I be comfortable when I can’t breathe.

I don’t have those answers yet

So back up I go.