avant et après

before you

I didn’t make the bed.

I left the sheets

open. Vulnerable,

for all to see. But

we started waking up

together, and I started

making your bed.

and then

you left.

and now I make

my bed every morning

because

at least that’s something.

Dreaming of when I was

listening to you

in the shower,

waiting for you to come back

out and and kiss me

good morning.

Now I stare off

into nothing.

And now you probably keep

a parallel routine,

with a girl similar

to me

but just different

enough to wash out

the stain of vices not in your possession.

Can you haunt me if you’re still alive?

You certainly

haunt my spaces.

I feel the weight

of your shadow

having just faded

off into the distance,

a new shape

accompanied your disappearance.

….

You don’t know me anymore.

You haven’t met me for a long time.

….

After you I may still have the same tendencies but

Oh! how I have grown and shifted and changed.

You don’t know me anymore.

You haven’t met me for a long time.

And I can only imagine,

if you’re doing it right

that means I also

no longer

Know

You.

I have been going these

places for years,

alone.

You don’t know me anymore.

You haven’t met me for a long time.

I do not mind saying

goodbye, we just

said it wouldn’t be

Final. and then it was.

Just because it isn’t my boundary,

doesn’t mean

it isn’t important.

I hope you feel

love

shining through

every day because

you deserve

it.

I hope you know

that even though

we weren’t meant for each other

it was still a beautiful moment.

I hope she holds you close

and makes your bed

while you’re in the shower,

and that sometimes you think of me

in those early

morning hours.