autistic lunch break

I'm trying not to panic on my lunch break

again

Trying to come off as normal-brained

to restrain

from stimming and making myself look weird

to make sure all the masking is in the clear

I've said so many weird things today

When they laugh, is it because

I'm funny--

or are they making fun of me?

I can't wait to get home,

where I can feel safe and not alone

understood and reassurred

relaxed and untaxed

I miss my cats

I need a bath

to soak and bathe and feel unafraid

of things they will say

or think of me...

I feel so weird

I don't feel like me